Happy 53rd birthday to Chris Sabo, the goggles king of Major League Baseball

On April 4, 1988, an entire nation of awkward glasses-wearing kids were given their hero and baseball savior. For that is the day that Chris Sabo, the goggles-wearing legend, made his Major League debut. Finally, kids forced to wear rec specs by their parents who didn't feel like shelling out for new glasses every time they slid into third could look to someone other than Horace Grant and say, "Yeah, I make this look cool." 

I should know. I was that kid. At my first baseball practice with the big honking things on my face, I felt like an alien outsider. Until I recalled the smooth-fielding, bases-stealing, homer-hitting, superpowered-by-goggles legend that is Sabo. 

I mean, just check out this ad. Even Don Draper would say "Thank you" for that. 

Standing 5-foot-11 and 185 pounds and not gifted with the preternaturally good eyesight that the game of baseball seemingly requires, he was a player that many a scrawny Little Leaguer could look to for inspiration. He was even nicknamed "Spuds" by his manager for how similar he looked to the dog from the Budweiser beer commercials. 

Look at the similarities: they both rock glasses, are mammals and love to party: 

In his rookie season, the spectacled one took home Rookie of the Year honors when he blasted 11 home runs and stole 40 bases. Only six other third basemen in the history of the game have hit 10+ home runs and stolen 40+ bags, with Hall of Famer Paul Molitor and the Hall of Fame-nicknamed Home Run Baker among them. 

Sabo would attend two more All-Star games and win a World Series ring when the Reds defeated the Athletics in 1990. All Sabo did in that one? Hit .563/.611/1.000 with 2 home runs in 18 plate appearances. Sure, some say "small sample size." I, however, will say it's simply the overwhelming power of corrective lenses. 

And while sabermetric stats look kindly on Sabo, giving him a career total of 17.3 fWAR, including a 15th-best-in-the-Majors mark of 5.4 in 1991, he's the godfather of an even more impressive school of thought: Sabometrics, which ranks players on how absolutely rad they look in the field. Guess what? Sabo is first all-time. 

Eventually, The Four-Eyed Wonder (trademark-pending) was inducted into the Reds Hall of Fame, his goggles cast in bronze for time immemorial. And though he didn't wear his specs that day, photo editing software can seamlessly correct that. 

So, as Sabo turns 53 on Monday, we want to wish him a happy birthday. Here's to you, Spuds: Baseball legend, style icon and an aspiration for every glasses-wearing kid out there.