The problem with Shohei Ohtani’s methodical march to 50-50 was the inevitability of it all. We all knew he’d christen the club eventually, and quite likely with ample cushion before the conclusion of the regular season. The man who had made the extraordinary look routine in both pitching and hitting like an All-Star in his Angels days had somehow managed to do the same with a first-of-its-kind performance at the plate in his first (and hopefully only) season as a full-time designated hitter with the Dodgers.

And then came Thursday afternoon at Miami’s loanDepot park, where Ohtani did not just achieve the inevitable, but did so with the Greatest Single-Game Performance in MLB History.

• Watch the full historic game here

Whoa, that’s quite a claim, I know.

But let’s be like Ohtani.

Let’s think big.

Prior to 2024, this man’s career had already been unthinkable. We tried to compare him statistically to the legendary Babe Ruth and stylistically to the great two-way players that dotted the Negro Leagues way back then. But Ohtani long since blew past those historical thresholds to craft his own unique story in a modernized game in which playing both sides is made even more audacious by the quality and diversity of the competition, the coast-to-coast travel, the media scrutiny, etc.

Some people call Ohtani a “unicorn.” But Ohtani is better than unicorns, because he actually exists.

• Ohtani's top 10 home runs in MLB

Elbow surgery, one year ago, ensured Ohtani would not be able to pitch in 2024, which of course was a bummer for baseball but also an opportunity to see what might happen if Ohtani were able to fully dedicate his planning and preparation to a single side. We knew he had power, and we knew he had wheels, but it would have been outrageous to expect what we have witnessed, even within the context of a stolen-base environment heightened by the 2023 rule changes.

Yes, Braves superstar Ronald Acuña Jr. created the 40-70 club in his NL MVP season just one year ago, and that was a ludicrous achievement all its own. But hitters will tell you the gap from 30 to 40 homers is massive and from 40 to 50 is Grand Canyon-esque. When Ohtani connected on his 50th homer Thursday, he became the first player to eclipse the 50-homer and 50-steal plateaus in a season. And before Ohtani’s 50-50 season, the most stolen bases in a 50-homer season had been ... 24, by Willie Mays in 1955 and Alex Rodriguez in 2007.

• Here are Ohtani's best MLB games

So yes, 50-50 is absurd, especially for a man listed at 6-foot-4, 210 pounds (no one that large had ever stolen more than 42 bases in a season).

Basically, Ohtani decided that, because he would be unable to pitch this year, he might as well be more aggressive on the basepaths. And then he went out and crafted a season unlike any MLB had seen before.

We would be writing and raving about that even if Ohtani had created the club on a ho-hum, 2-for-4 with four RBIs kinda day.

Instead, Ohtani manhandled the Marlins in a 20-4 victory that left all of us in awe.

Batting leadoff against Miami right-handed starter Edward Cabrera, Ohtani doubled on a sharp line drive in the first, then swiped third for his 50th stolen base and scored on a sacrifice fly.

In the second, he singled (boo!) but drove in a run (yay!). Then stole second for his 51st heist.

Facing lefty reliever Anthony Veneziano in the third, Ohtani came to bat with runners on the corners and doubled to center to bring home the pair. He was thrown out trying to advance to third -- the only out he’d make all day.

In the sixth, facing right-hander George Soriano with a runner aboard, Ohtani put himself on the precipice of 50-50 with his 49th blast, lofting a low slider 438 feet into the second deck in right-center field.

Those now scrambling to witness history had to move fast, because Ohtani came to bat the very next inning and wasted no time reaching 50 (which, incidentally, also set a Dodgers single-season record). With a runner aboard, right-hander Mike Baumann tossed him a knuckle curve low and away, and Ohtani obliterated it to the opposite field to cap a five-run inning that made it 14-3. A crowd not short on Dodger fans went bananas.

That made Ohtani 5-for-5 with two homers, four extra-base hits and two steals.

How many players in MLB history had gone 5-for-5 with two homers, four extra-base hits and two steals? Well, none, of course.

But Ohtani wasn’t done, because this brutal beatdown wasn’t done.

The Marlins had to turn to a position player, Vidal Bruján, in the ninth, and Chris Taylor’s two-out single from the nine-hole ensured Ohtani would have one last at-bat. Sure enough, when Bruján elevated a 68 mph fastball, Ohtani did as one would expect with such a pitch and blasted another one to the second deck -- 440 feet this time. The 50-50 club was already old news; 51-51 is now where it’s at.

“Oh my gosh!” Dodgers announcer Joe Davis blurted out. “Shohei Ohtani! The greatest day in baseball history!”

He wasn’t wrong.

MLB has had individual games in which a player hit more homers, drove in more runs, had more hits. But the combination of power and speed was, much like Ohtani’s season as a whole, unprecedented. And you can pick any number of ways to put it into context:

No one had ever gone 6-for-6 with three homers, five extra-base hits and two steals.

No one had ever had six hits, three homers and a stolen base.

No one had ever had three homers and two steals.

No one had ever had 17 total bases in a game in which they didn’t go deep four times.

No one had ever had more than 11 total bases in a game in which they stole multiple bases.

No one had ever had a 10-RBI game with even a single stolen base.

With all due respect to former Dodger Shawn Green, who set the single-game record with 19 total bases in a four-homer game in 2002, what Ohtani did on Thursday was the greatest offensive performance we’ve ever seen, by perhaps the greatest player we’ve ever seen. To do it on the day he reached 50-50 and his club clinched what will be his long-awaited first postseason appearance was, like everything else involving Ohtani, incredible.