There are three things that hold true every summer:

1. There's baseball -- all day, every day.

2. No, you cannot stop sweating.

3. But at least you get to throw on a pair of short cutoff jorts.

Finally, all these things have come together in one beautiful, short shorts video from Pete Alonso and the Mets. With the All-Star Game coming up and Alonso hoping to get his votes up, he paired up with the wildly jacked Diesel Donnie (could this be the legendary, secretive hitting approach coach Donnie Stevenson?) for a little help.

The two run through the 1980s workout montage before Alonso asks the pertinent question: Why, exactly, is Diesel Donnie in jean shorts?

While that may be a ridiculous question for those of you who have ever donned summer's most necessary fashion accessory, Donnie lets him in on a little secret: "Sky's out, thighs out." Sure enough, that was the missing ingredient from Alonso's impressive toolkit.

While we may never see jorts being worn during a Major League game -- the White Sox came closest -- we can still dream. And when you fill out your All-Star ballot, don't just vote for the best player, or the one with the most home runs or highest batting average. Maybe vote for the player who is most passionate about jorts.