There are only a few hundred active Major League players at any given time. A few hundred, out of, oh, only about 330 million Americans -- the odds that any of those big leaguers happen to share a name with another celebrity seem astronomical.

But if baseball history has taught us anything, it's that nothing is too outlandish to one day come true. And sure enough, through the years there have been ballplayers with names seemingly too good to be true (seriously, your name is James Bond?). So we thought we'd make a roster out of them: a full team, 25 guys, all of whom just so happen to share a name with a real or fictional icon. (Excluding characters like "The Office's" Ryan Howard, who were explicitly named after baseball players.)

Think of one we missed? By all means, let us know.

C: Ron Swanson

We really, really wanted to go with Biz Mackey here, a Negro League Hall of Famer who nearly matched not one but two pop culture icons. But this is a rigorous enterprise, and so we'll settle for Ronald Swanson -- a ninth-round pick of the Cardinals who appeared in 11 games for the club's rookie-level affiliate in 1976.

1B: Davey Crockett

King of the Wild Frontier, Tigers first baseman in 1901 and, apparently, the youngest man to ever play professional baseball -- at least if his card is any indication.

2B: Pablo Sanchez

OK, so everyone’s favorite Backyard Baseball character probably wasn’t named after the guy who spent one season in the Brewers’ farm system, but we would tell everybody we met that we were the inspiration anyway.

SS: Mike Tyson

Unlike his teammates, Tyson was much more than a bit player -- he spent 10 seasons in the Majors between the Cardinals and Cubs, developing a reputation as one of the best defensive middle-infielders of his day. If you need me, I’ll be over here imagining what the other Tyson would look like with a fu manchu mustache:

3B: King Lear

“No, I’ll not weep. I have full cause of weeping, but this heart shall break into a hundred thousand flaws, or ere I’ll weep. O fool, I shall go mad!” - King Lear, Act II, Scene IV

“There’s no crying in baseball!” - Jimmy Dugan, “A League of Their Own”

LF: Joe Frazier

Frazier cracked the big leagues in 1947, then spent seven long years in the Minors before finally getting another shot with the Cardinals at the age of 31. He played pretty well over a couple years in St. Louis, but he wound up with one fewer career homer than he actually hit -- thanks to the Cards forfeiting a game against the Phillies after the umpiring crew mistakenly refused to allow the stadium lights to be turned on. (He later went on to manage the Mets in the 1970s, where the local press quickly dubbed him "the other Joe Frazier.")

CF: Davy Jones

Founding member of the Monkees or demon of the deep blue sea, take your pick. (Although hey, 15 years as a Major Leaguer isn’t too bad either.)

RF: Eddie Murphy

A member of the infamous 1919 Black Sox, Murphy was eventually exonerated and managed to avoid suspension -- which earned him his nickname, Honest Eddie.

DH: Carlos Santana

You have to scroll a very, very long way to find a Google result for Carlos Santana the baseball player, which is a tough break for a former top prospect who’s blossomed into a middle-of-the-order mainstay with the Indians (and, in 2019, an All-Star). Although I must say, this is pretty ...

[puts on sunglasses]

… smooth.

Bench: George C. Scott, 1B; John Kennedy, INF; Jim Morrison, OF; Jimmy Stewart, Utility

Fun fact: Not only did Kennedy spend five years in Boston, but he shares a birthday with the president -- today, May 29. (Although the Red Sox first baseman technically went by just George Scott during his 14-year career, his middle name was Charles, so we’re going to count it anyway. Plus, our clubhouse could really use that type of leadership.)

Rotation: Charlie Brown, George Washington, Steve Rogers, James Bond, Kaiser Wilhelm

I simply couldn’t resist putting Captain America and the Kaiser in the same rotation -- even if Wilhelm, real name Irvin, couldn’t stand the nickname given to him by opposing fans and the press.

Bullpen: Brian Wilson, Tom Brady (no not that one), Cal McLish, Mike Myers, Will Smith, Rick James, Buck Rogers

“But wait,” you’re no doubt saying to yourself. “Is there a celebrity named Cal McLish I’ve never heard of.” There is not -- but luckily for us, McLish’s full name was, and I swear I’m not making this up, Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McLish.

“There were eight kids in the family, and I was No. 7 and my dad didn’t get to name one of them before me,” McLish told the Oklahoman in 1999. “So he evidently tried to catch up.”