Most years, baseball is a marathon. This year, it feels like a sprint -- one run by Usain Bolt. Somehow, we're already at the halfway point of the season and we're hurtling headfirst into what could be the craziest postseason race ever.

But before we focus entirely on the future, it's time to take stock of what's come before and hand out some midseason awards. Forget things like Cy Young or MVP -- those are routine, expected.

No, let's hand out awards for some stranger feats and moments, which you'd likely forget about when the World Series trophy is handed out. These are the very silly midseason awards:

Best home run call: “It’s a pasta party!”

There are a lot of great reasons to watch the White Sox this season. The team is young, exciting and, after a rebuilding period, is back to competing. It’s a bonus that the broadcast team of Jason Benetti and Steve Stone is one of the best in the game.

It all came together on this call. Enter: Tim Anderson, the Sox’s sparkplug shortstop. Not only is he doubling down on last year’s unexpected batting title win, but he’s added plenty of pop this year, too.

That gave Benetti the chance to explain that Anderson eats a big spaghetti dinner after every home run. Right as he finished sharing the story, Anderson went deep and Benetti yelled, “It’s time for a pasta party!” It’s the lone home run call from this year that I also repeat when it’s my turn to cook.

Longest home run: 483 feet by Giancarlo Stanton

Yes, in case you were wondering, Stanton is the strongest man in the sport, and -- until we have proof otherwise -- perhaps in the world. How a human being can launch a baseball that far into the stratosphere, I have no idea.

Only six homers were longer last year, so this one could hold up at the end of the season.

Slowest pitch: 53.5 mph by Zack Greinke

Oh, Greinke. What did we do to deserve you?

On the same day that Greinke decided to just sit on the infield grass and get a zen moment in while the grounds crew did their work, he uncorked the slowest eephus of the year.

Look at this lollipop:

Even his explanation was quintessential Greinke:

“He set up away and I knew we weren’t on the same page, so I was like, ‘Man, I was about to throw a pitchout.’ And then, I was like, ‘Maybe step off,' and I was like, ‘OK, no pitchout,’” Greinke said. “I don’t know what happened at the last half-second where I ended up throwing it as a strike.”

Best quote: “Chocolate milk and squats.”

Where does Pete Alonso get his power and/or his thicc thighs? Forget what those fitness magazines at the cash register say, the answer is quite simple -- and delicious.

Best quarantine mustache: Enrique Hernández

This season has seen the return of the baseball mustache, with more players sporting lip fuzz in any season since 1993.* Matt Olson used his stache to hit some dingers, Garrett Richards looks ready for the old west with his, and Andrew McCutchen loves donning a fake one.

*Note: not verified

But none are better than what the Dodgers’ super-utility man has grown. Not only is the mustache in full bloom, but when paired with the shades, he looks like he belongs in some cheesy, C-grade ‘80s action movie. He celebrates dingers by smoothing it down while rounding the bases.

And would this reaction really be this good if not for the mustache? No, of course not.

Best debut: Luis Robert

We know, beware the small sample size. It can take months before you know if you can really trust a player’s stat line. But sometimes, a single game can confirm everything you’ve ever wondered about.

That’s what Robert did in his big league debut on July 24. Entering the year as the game’s No. 3 prospect, Robert quickly lined a single at 115 mph -- the fastest hit in a debut since Statcast was introduced in 2015 -- and then launched a double off the wall to the opposite field. He raced around the bases and scored a run.

Sure, it was just one game, but this was a player taking all those tools that made us giddy with excitement and he put them on display. He looked the part of a superstar from day one and he hasn’t let up.

Best moment when a player wished they could disappear: Jo Adell’s four-base error

This was a close contest, with Hunter Pence losing a fly ball to end Johnny Cueto’s no-hitter attempt making a run for it. But Pence has a long career with multiple World Series rings. He even managed to tweet a meme about it:

That means Adell gets the award for when he accidentally helped boost Nick Solak's drive over the wall like it was a toddler asking for help getting on the swings.

Playing in just his fourth big league game, the Angels' top prospect raced back, got leather on the ball and … whoops.

Whether you're an athlete or you've simply flooded the kitchen because you loaded the dishwasher wrong, we've all been here before.

Best new uniforms: Rangers

With apologies to the snazzy new Brewers unis, and the Padres’ returning to their roots, it’s the Rangers that have the best new look. Proving that a sky blue jersey top alone is not enough, the team paired them with the powder blue pants, too. Add in the racing stripe down the legs and the classic script font on the jersey and, yeah, it makes me sad every time the Rangers aren’t wearing them.

Best fan cutout moment: Adam Duvall’s home run

Nothing is normal about 2020, but fortunately, the fan cutouts -- while not making up for the lack of boisterous crowds -- have helped bring a little whimsy to the year.

Nic Cage is in Seattle, Rob Schneider is all over PNC Park, and Andrew McCutchen’s character Uncle Larry sits in Philadelphia.

But the best moment came during the opening weekend. Just as we were getting used to these cardboard avatars, Adam Duvall quickly cracked a home run off Jeff McNeil’s dog, Willow. Just rude.

Best socially distant walk-off celebration: Braves

Forget homering off a cutout, the entire Braves team can lay claim to the most CDC-recommended way to celebrate a walk-off win this year, too.

In a typical year, when Dansby Swanson hit this walk-off homer against the Nationals, there would be a lot more back-slapping and tugging on jerseys going on, usually ending in a giant pile of ballplayers on the field. Instead, this time it looked like a reunion of The Polyphonic Spree as the players celebrated away from each other and with their hands held high in the air, and Swanson spun in a circle.

Best relative of a former big leaguer who could win the NL MVP Award, but who also isn’t Fernando Tatis Jr: Mike Yastrzemski

Yeah, we had to get incredibly specific on this one. Tatis was always a star just waiting for his coronation, but Yastrzemski was anything but.

After reaching the big leagues at 28 years old last year, the grandson of Red Sox Hall of Famer Carl Yastrzemski surprised everyone when he started hitting like his grandad, too. After years of fine but not spectacular numbers in the Minors, Li'l Yaz looked like the real deal in the big leagues. But could he follow it up?

Not only has Yastrzemski proved he belongs, he has actually improved to the point that he should receive realistic MVP Award consideration at the end of the year. He's upped his average, on-base percentage and slugging percentage and could win the slash line triple crown. He is leading the NL in walks. He’s smashed seven home runs, and even with the fences brought in, Oracle Park is no easy place to hit a home run. He’s got three triples and a stolen base. He’s a five-tool talent that no one expected.

Everyone’s 2nd favorite team: Padres

Each year, a new team manages to make good on the preseason hype and finds a way to wriggle their way into the collective hearts and MLB.TV schedules of baseball fans. Last year, it was the Twins and their Bomba Squad.

With apologies to the White Sox and the surprisingly competitive Orioles and Marlins, there is only one answer for 2020.

It begins with Tatis -- how could it not? Tatis is less a baseball player these days and is more of a full-on pop culture phenomenon. He’s Ken Griffey Jr. for the generation of kids too young to have seen Junior in his prime and is making plays every night that demand you tune in. He's erasing MLB's unwritten rules on the fly and is only one genius marketing move away from having his own clothing line.

But it’s not just Tatis. There’s Manny Machado, who was the young, endlessly entertaining infielder before Tatis right next to him. Jake Cronenworth went from someone few fans knew to one of the best hitters in the game. Chris Paddack remains the future of the Padres' rotation, but Dinelson Lamet has actually been carrying the team with his slider and looks like a Cy Young Award candidate.

They hit five grand slams in six days! They hit dingers and dance in the dugout! They may not win every game, but they're making every single one an experience that has to be seen to be believed.

Best dance: Johnny Cueto

Forget all the (great) dugout celebrations, there’s only one acceptable answer: Cueto’s mid-pitch shimmy. How he does this while competing at the very highest level is a question we may never have a satisfying answer to. We’re just happy it exists.