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Can you figure out who said these bizarre baseball quotes that we've taken out of context?

Atlanta Braves manager Brian Snitker argues with umpire Jerry Layne and is ejected in the third inning of a baseball game against the Philadelphia Phillies, Saturday, March 31, 2018, in Atlanta. The Atlanta Braves won the game 15-2. (AP Photo/Todd Kirkland) (Todd Kirkland/AP)

Baseball players and managers have a knack for winding up in some pretty unusual circumstances, both on and off the field. And sometimes, those circumstances cause them to say some very, very weird things. Which brings us here today. 
We've taken nine extremely strange (and extremely specific) quotes from baseball history, taken them out of context and asked you to see if you can remember who said them. Good luck:

BarberJordan
beephero
AP_702417634020
NYC