Company offers Brian Wilson $1 million to shave his beard, beard issues response

On Thursday, 800Razors.com offered Dodgers pitcher Brian Wilson $1 million to shave his trademark beard. Wilson declined and was seen rocking the facial hair in his first appearance of the season against Miami.

According to TMZ.com, the beard issued its own, all-caps hands-off warning to the company, saying "I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH MONEY'S ON THE TABLE ... NOBODY'S CUTTING ME!"

The report also includes a quote from Wilson's agent claiming that Wilson never took the offer seriously, and the beard will be "going with him to the grave."

It's great to hear Wilson is so attached to his beard (both literally, and metaphorically), but will his tuxedo unitard also be making the postmortem journey?