John Smoltz debuted a new hairdo during his Hall of Fame induction speech

During his Hall of Fame induction speech on Sunday, John Smoltz took some time to consider the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics by exploring all the different ways his life might have turned out. In one universe, he let his hair grow out:

Why he assumes it would have grown into a mullet best described as "Little Orphan Annie in the front, windsurfing party in the back," is anyone's guess. Maybe Greg Maddux knows -- in his own HOF induction speech last year, he snuck in a little dig at the state of Smoltz's scalp.

Smoltz also gave us a glimpse into yet another world. While thanking his parents, he mentioned that they were both accordion teachers and hoped he'd grow up to be "the next Lawrence Welk."

So, in some parallel universe, Smoltz is still in the HOF. Well, an HOF. If the new 'do and the music career happened in the same alternate reality, we assume he got inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for playing accordion with Van Halen and changing hair metal forever.

… You know what? We're happy we live in this world. Welcome to Cooperstown, Smoltzie.