After two more dingers, the time has come to rank the Internet's best Trevor Story puns
A general rule of the Internet: If someone's last name is a noun, there will be puns. Lots of them. Which brings us to Trevor Story: The Rockies rookie burst onto the scene with two homers on Opening Day ... and another the next day ... and another the day after that. And then, in his home debut on Friday against the Padres, he hit two more -- making him the first player in baseball history to hit six dingers in the first four games of a season.
Naturally, the puns started coming, and they haven't stopped. We are as guilty as any; the sickness runs deep. And yet, try as we might to purge ourselves of shameless wordplay, we're compelled by that other general rule of the Internet: If something goes on for long enough, eventually, it must be ranked. And so, in the name of the public good, we present a definitive ranking of the very best Trevor Story puns of April 2016.
10. The Clash pun
A shameless plug for our own D-grade joke? Perhaps. But, after all, this isn't ... just another story:
9. The #content pun
Trevor is the only Story right now
— Jim Bowden (@JimBowdenGM) April 9, 2016
8. The crime procedural pun
Story checks out. https://t.co/INebiLrKk3
— Pinstripe Alley (@pinstripealley) April 9, 2016
7. The superlative pun
The Greatest Story Ever Told.
— Joe Sheehan (@joe_sheehan) April 8, 2016
6. The factual pun
Trevor is on pace for 243 homers in 2016 … True Story.https://t.co/vZ3Sp7nuSn
— MLB (@MLB) April 9, 2016
5. The British Invasion pun
Worst Oasis album? "Trevor Story (Schwarber's Glory)?"
— Every6thDay (@Every6thDay) April 8, 2016
4. The self-referential pun
Walt Weiss: "It is quite a Story, pun intended. I never understood why people always say 'no pun intended' every single one is intended." ..
— Theresa Smith Cotton (@TheresaSmithCot) April 7, 2016
3. The boy band pun
@Reds @Braves @Rockies it is the story of his lifehttps://t.co/JtxZHsPtTm
— Cleveland Indians (@Indians) April 8, 2016
... actually, this entire pun thread
@Indians @Reds @Braves pic.twitter.com/UlGt8cFh4L
— Colorado Rockies (@Rockies) April 8, 2016
2. The fairy tale pun
never-ending Story #rockies
— Jon Heyman (@JonHeyman) April 8, 2016
1.5 The fairy-tale pun, part 2
The Trevor-ending story? https://t.co/on8tqzDMUN
— Joe Nguyen (@JoeNguyen) April 8, 2016
And, finally ...
1. The shockingly deep Beastie Boys cut pun
Here's a little Story, I got to tell about a Colorado Rocky, you know so well. https://t.co/y0XI7Owv1v
— Christopher Crawford (@Crawford_MILB) April 9, 2016