Starter Micah Owings once went 4-for-5 with two dingers and seven RBI, so bring it on, MadBum

Their countless hours of devoted imitation finally paying off, Major League pitchers just had themselves a pretty good weekend with the bat. Madison Bumgarner cracked double-digit dingers, Zack Greinke found the proper vehicle for his vicious bat flips, they both did some efficient pitching of their own and the baseball world rejoiced. 

Former D-backs starter Micah Owings, however, did not. Rather, he saw all of the attention, and the aforementioned bat flipping, and thought that everyone needed to pump the brakes a bit. For there can only be one king of pitchers hitting, and with all due respect, no one's got anything on Owings' start against the Braves on Aug. 18, 2007.

Owings began his assault early, driving in a run in the top of the second with a double down the line. Then things got really out of hand. Next up was his first dinger of the night, complete with a casually dismissive bat flip:

Yes, we said "first home run," because Owings was nowhere near done. Behold, in the top of the sixth:

And then, with Arizona already well ahead, he decided to rub it in with a broken-bat single because sometimes it's just your night:

Oh, and there was some pretty effective pitching going on, as well. Owings went seven strong innings, giving up just three runs on three hits and fanning seven:

So just remember, pitchers -- you may go yard and find yourself feeling pretty good, but you have much to learn.