Chris Davis re-signs with the O's because law of averages says he's owed 5 HRs and a pair of pants

There are probably any number of factors that helped persuade first baseman/outfielder/DH Chris Davis to re-sign with the Orioles. First, the deal is reportedly worth $161 million over seven years, which ain't too shabby. That's enough for him to buy the complete series of "The Wire" on Blu-ray for 1,789,087 of his closest friends.

There's the lifetime of free crabcakes he was promised by a local B-more seafood joint:

Dear @CrushD19,

Please come back to the @Orioles. If you do, free #crabcakes for life. And ur kids. And their kids. pic.twitter.com/XHLr8Swa35

— Jimmy's Famous Seafood (@JimmysSeafood) December 10, 2015

Then there's the fact that Davis has really found his stroke with the O's. He's led MLB in home runs two of the past three years and set career bests in pretty much every measurable statistic over that span.

There's also the fact that Davis' bromance with Adam Jones might have been jeopardized had he opted to sign with another team, let alone one of Baltimore's rivals. And we were already privy to the fact the they'd been longing for each other this offseason.

@SimplyAJ10 pic.twitter.com/S4bZJEEEjc

— Chris Davis (@CrushD19) January 5, 2016

But, the real reason Davis returned to Charm City is that he's owed five home runs and a pair of pants.
In 2015, Davis was robbed of a statistically staggering five home runs.
Avisail Garcia and J.B. Shuck got him consecutive days back in July:

Then the Tigers' J.D. Martinez got in on the fun:

Athletics rookie Billy Burns gave it a shot:

And acrobatic Red Sox outfielder Mookie Bettsupped the ante with his September masterpiece:

As if all of those setbacks and all of that heartbreak wasn't enough to make 2015 a campaign for Davis, the O's slugger also managed to rip his pants while trying to steal second base:

So, Davis probably could have found a suitable place with another franchise, but changing the status quo could have thrown an imbalance to the universe that might have had an adverse effect on the five dingers and one pair of pantaloons that Davis should have comin' his way in the near future.
Ya know, plus all the crab he can eat, $161 million and the company of best bro Adam Jones probably didn't hurt the Orioles' pitch, either.