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Free Agent Matrix: Which team would be the best fit for Rich Hill?

As we count down the hours until free agency, our friends at Cespedes Family BBQ stopped by to help prepare for the madness of player movement. They were kind enough to create helpful cheat sheets that can aid us in figuring out where the big names might fit in best for the 2017 season. Previously: Closers. Today's player: Rich Hill.
Many inexplicable things have occurred in baseball over the last year. Brian Dozier hit 40 home runs. The Mets signed Tim Tebow. Game 7 of the World Series happened. But perhaps there was no phenomenon more unexpected, no story less predictable, no journey more surprising than the Ballad of Richard Joseph Hill, professional baseball pitcher.
Last August, the lefty was plying his trade for an independent league team called the Long Island Ducks. This October, he threw six scoreless innings against the Cubs in Game 3 of the NLCS. Hill's path from point A to point B has been well documented, but it's absurdness cannot be overstated.
Now Hill finds himself as the clear-cut best starting pitcher available in a shallow free-agent pitching class. But it's unclear whether a team will commit long-term to a guy who will be 37 on Opening Day 2017. Here's our best guess at which teams could best fill the hole in their rotation with this wonderful weirdo.

Coming at you like a dark horse:
CHC: Winning the World Series for the first time in 108 years sure does distract from the pressing reality that the Cubs don't have a clear 5th starter for 2017! While it's unlikely that many Cubs fans are concerned about the back-end of the rotation right now, there is a rare hole in Theo's remarkable roster that could be addressed with a guy like Hill. Because, ya know, why not give the Cubs a few more good players.
BOS: They gave David Price $218 million last offseason and then one of their other pitchers won the Cy Young. The top of the rotation seems pretty set, but it's a lot of question marks after that. Plus, Boston is where Hill's miraculous and wildly successful re-entry into affiliated baseball began just over a year ago. The Red Sox know better than anyone what he's capable of and may be inclined to welcome him back.
TEX: The Rangers already signed Andrew Cashner to a one-year deal to help bolster an unstable and beard-deficient back half of their rotation, but Hill would give Texas the kind of three-headed monster alongside Cole Hamels and Yu Darvish that would make them all the more scarier come October.

HOU: Houston is ready to win now, with an outstanding collection of young position player talent now complemented by recently acquired veterans Brian McCann and Josh Reddick. However, the rotation was below average in 2016 and remains a big question mark heading into the Hot Stove season. Hill would give them much-needed depth and obviously huge potential alongside fellow lefty Dallas Keuchel, who will hopefully bounce back in 2017.
SFG: After spending over $200 million on Johnny Cueto and Jeff Samardzija a year ago, it's unclear whether the Giants are willing to spend big on another starter. Having acquired Matt Moore mid-season, they probably won't prioritize Hill as much as, say, a closer or a left fielder. But there is room in the rotation if they want to try to replicate the truly dominant staffs of their recent championship runs.

BAL: The Orioles have a lot of pitchers under contract, but a lot of them were bad last year. Signing Rich Hill may stop Buck Showalter from trying to overcompensate for his Wild Card mistake by starting Zach Britton in every game.
CHW: Perhaps no team needs a bonafide left-handed starter less than the team that boasts Chris Sale, José Quintana, and Carlos Rodón as their 1-thru-3 starters. But it gets ugly after that trio, and if the White Sox are set on contending soon, Hill could help that cause greatly. 
Ace incoming (the best fits):
LAD: As much as the Dodgers would like to have Clayton Kershaw pitch in every game, arms like his do in fact need a rest every so often. They got the full Rich Hill experience after acquiring him for three stellar prospects at the deadline. The dynamic left-handed duo of Kershaw and Hill looked awfully nice in the postseason, and besides Kenta Maeda, the question marks behind The Best Pitcher On Planet Earth™ in the rotation do not inspire much confidence for a team desperate to take the next step in October. Hill's return would certainly help.

LAA: When the Angels last saw Rich Hill, he was pitching for them in July of 2014. He recorded zero outs over two appearances and was released shortly afterward. Roughly 28 months later, the very same Rich Hill now represents the clearest opportunity for the Angels to substantially upgrade their starting rotation. With a weak farm system to trade from and still no desire to even think about shipping Mike Trout elsewhere, the Angels' best hope at boosting their starting pitching is likely Hill and Hill alone. Baseball is so weird.

SEA: After trading Taijuan Walker to Arizona for a bonafide shortstop in Jean Segura, GM Jerry Dipoto is acutely aware of the team's need to acquire further pitching depth. While Dipoto always seems to prefer the low-key, lots-of-players deals as the best way to fill the roster, Hill could be a relatively affordable big splash that would definitively strengthen the rotation, not just restore it to its 2016 standard. 
NYY: The Yankees' rebuild seemed to be underway when they traded away Carlos Beltrán and their two uber relievers for a haul of exciting prospects. But then Gary "Babe Ruth" Sanchez happened and oh, welp, it looks like the Yankees are still pretty good. For a team that seemed destined to descend in the standings next season, the Baby Bombers & Co. may already be ready to try to compete in 2017. And who better to help guide these youngsters than an inspirational father figure in Rich Hill? Plus, he'd clearly improve their baseball team (also important). 
Jake Mintz and Jordan Shusterman are the founders of Cespedes Family BBQ. You can follow them on Twitter at @CespedesBBQ.

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