Adam Jones can no longer deliver postgame pies to teammates, and a nation weeps
Just one short month ago, America celebrated that most sacred of holidays known as National Pie Day. It was a simpler time, one full of sweet pastries as far as the eye could see. And, to honor the occasion, we took a moment to celebrate one of baseball's finest traditions: the postgame pies of Adam Jones.
He pies with conviction:
He pies with panache:
Or should we say, "he pied" -- for on Saturday, Jones was forced to tell the world that his antics would be no more:
No more pies can be delivered to the faces of O's players. But @dangerouspies can we still work together.
— 10 (@SimplyAJ10) February 27, 2016
Suspiciously, Jones chalked the decision up to "safety," as though blindly flinging baked goods at an unsuspecting teammate might end badly.
It's no ones fault. It's just about safety. At the end of the day it can be dangerous so we're being smart.
— 10 (@SimplyAJ10) February 27, 2016
His pies taken from him, Jones set out to find a replacement celebration -- although, uh, we're guessing the Orioles won't be happy with these suggestions, either.
Now I need some suggestions on something new. #PantsThem #Swirly
— 10 (@SimplyAJ10) February 27, 2016
His mischievious spirit finally extinguished, Jones hung up his pies for good and accepted his fate. OR DID HE:
Y'all must got me twisted. Believe someone's taking a succulent pie to the kisser. #StayHungry #RebelWithACause
— 10 (@SimplyAJ10) February 27, 2016
We now turn to Buck Showalter for a live reaction:
