A lazy river. In his house.

Ryan Howard's new 17,500-square-foot house in Tampa will have all the essentials: an indoor bowling alley, a creative name (Casa Del Howard), and -- of course -- a "Venice-style lazy river running from the swimming pool underneath a series of bridges."

What, you mean your humble abode doesn't have any water park features?

How do you get from the swimming pool to the dining room without taking off your your inner tube?