Why the Blue Jays think teammate needs a full makeover

DUNEDIN, Fla. -- The Blue Jays’ bullpen wants to rebrand Tim Mayza.

Mayza is already your favorite player’s favorite reliever. But a new marketing department led by Jordan Romano and Erik Swanson wants to bring him to the masses.

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“[Mayza] just needs to be a bit more edgy,” Romano said. “He’s a little generic right now. A generic relief pitcher. He’s extremely good at what he does, but we need a little bit more flair. My first thought would be some tattoos, maybe? Face or neck. Maybe something with a beard. He has goatee potential. He needs something there. The clean-cut, little short beard looks good, but it’s just not edgy enough.”

Oddly enough, Bowden Francis was quick to suggest a face tattoo as well, and perhaps some Biggie Smalls to replace the classic reliever rock he runs in from the bullpen to. Fashion seems to be the starting point of this rebrand, though. Mayza is already one of the best left-handed relievers in baseball, so he can stop dressing for a job interview.

“He needs to show up without a collared shirt on every day,” Swanson said. “Tim wears a collared shirt every day since he was drafted. It’s respectful. But maybe a tank top with some shorts? Some swimming trunks, maybe? Some flip flops? He’s got to do something crazy.”

Mayza is beloved by his teammates, which is why Romano and Swanson have taken on this cause after some recent news over breakfast.

The day prior, Mayza and Chris Bassitt were driving to Old Navy with their wives when Mayza got a text from a friend telling him that his rating in MLB The Show would be 69. A year ago, Mayza’s rating finished at 71, not nearly high enough for one of the game’s most dependable lefties.

Mayza showed Bassitt, who brought the news to breakfast the next day, and the Blue Jays’ bullpen officially had its next project. It wants Mayza in the high 70s.

“What does a [1.52 ERA] get you these days?” Swanson asked. “I don’t know if he led the league, but he was pretty damn close for lefties, and they gave him a 69. I think he is the most underrated reliever in the game.”

The marketing strategy here is clear: Add some spice to Tim Mayza.

This starts the moment Mayza arrives at the complex or stadium. The relievers want to see him roll in like the dominant pitcher he is. After Romano was done detailing the makeover they’ve imagined for Mayza, the Canadian closer let out a sigh and moved on to their next project.

“Another thing … he drives a Kia,” Romano said, “a Kia Telluride. We need him in a Trans Am, an old-school muscle car. We can’t have him driving around in a Kia Telluride.”

Combine it all, and Romano has his vision, which sounds like Mayza’s next Halloween costume.

“A Trans Am with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth pulling up to the field with a neck tat,” Romano said.

At the heart of all this? Mayza’s teammates love him. It’s why he finds himself at the center of these things so often despite being the last man in that clubhouse who wants the spotlight. It’s what made his debut as a bat boy earlier in spring so perfect, as he raced back and forth to pick up his teammates’ gear as punishment for finishing in last place in their fantasy football league.

“He’s just a great dude,” Swanson said. “He’s great to be around. He always comes in with the same attitude every day. He’s a good family man. He talks a lot of crap, but he also takes it really, really well. I think that because he is so liked, he’s the one that takes the most crap on the team. But also because he receives it well. He doesn’t get hurt by it. He just talks crap back to you. That’s what everybody loves.”

Romano has grown up in this organization alongside Mayza for more than a decade. And there they sit, side by side in the clubhouse as two of the best relievers in baseball.

“For me, he’s a great friend. He’s very dependable,” Romano said. “It’s just awesome to watch him work, honestly. He makes me better, just seeing what he does with his routines. I take so much from him and try to use it in my own game. He’s just such a good dude overall.”

That’s Mayza: dependable. The sensible midsized SUV of the Blue Jays’ bullpen that just gets the job done.