Keepin' it 💯 with 100 season predictions

There are good predictions, and there are bad predictions. There are typically more of the latter. I cannot promise you more good predictions for the 2021 season than bad predictions. But one thing I can promise you: More predictions.

One hundred of them, in fact. On the cusp of the 2021 MLB season, here are 100 predictions. I cannot guarantee that these predictions will come true. I can only guarantee that there will be 100 of them.

1) You’re going to get weirdly emotional seeing fans in the stands for Opening Day.
2) You will spend a good part of the first half of the season forgetting that you’re hearing actual crowd noise again.
3) Francisco Lindor will look so weird in a Mets uniform.
4) But not nearly as weird as Nolan Arenado will look in a Cardinals uniform.

• One bold prediction for all 30 teams

5) You’ll be used to it by Easter, though.
6) When Giancarlo Stanton and Aaron Judge are healthy at the same time, you will wonder how anyone in the world is ever supposed to beat the Yankees.
7) When one of them gets hurt, and you see the back end of their rotation, you’ll remember.
8) The Yankees will win the division anyway.
9) When Eduardo Rodriguez returns to the mound for the first time, it will be one of the biggest moments of the year, and as happy as you are for him, the moment will be about more than just him.
10) J.D. Martinez will start to look like himself again, though it would help if he could pitch.

11) The first time Kevin Cash takes a pitcher out in the fifth or sixth inning despite the pitcher throwing well, Baseball Twitter will lose its mind.
12) Randy Arozarena will be a very good Major League player and a key cog on an excellent Rays team, and it will still somehow feel like a disappointment.
13) The first few weeks of the Blue Jays playing in their cozy Spring Training ballpark will make peak-era Coors Field feel like playing baseball in the Grand Canyon.
14) This will cause us all to take a little longer to realize than we should that Vlad Jr. has become the superstar we were waiting on.

• Extremely real, totally true playoff predictions

15) The ovation for the Jays, who will be in playoff position at the time, when they return to Toronto for the first time will be José-Bautista-bat-flip-level loud.
16) The Orioles will probably finish in last place, but their season will feature moments of excitement and optimism that will feel downright new and revelatory.
17) The second-loudest cheer will be for Adley Rutschman’s first at-bat of the year.
18) The loudest will be for Trey Mancini’s.

19) You know what? Tony La Russa is going to be fine.
20) There will be some sort of blowup around August, when everyone’s hot and tired, and then the White Sox will rattle off eight wins in a row and the clubhouse will be kosher again.
21) And no one’s going to want to face Lucas Giolito and Lance Lynn 1-2 in a playoff series.

• Updated Opening Day roster projections

22) José Ramírez will do his best to make Cleveland fans feel better about losing Francisco Lindor.
23) It probably won’t work.
24) Nelson Cruz is going to have such a fun, joyous, age-defying year that someone’s going to sign him in the next offseason for three years, Julio Franco-style.
25) The Twins will make the playoffs.
26) They won’t win a single game there. Again.
27) I am sorry, Twins fans.
28) The Royals will be feistier than anyone is used to, thanks to a deep lineup that’s deceptively tough 1-9.
29) They will still not be as good as the Royals seem to think they are, thanks to a pitching staff that’s going to lead to a lot of 11-10 games.
30) It will still be commendable that the Royals went for it this offseason, regardless.
31) Miguel Cabrera will not look anything like his old self, again, but there will be moments when something sparks just right, and you’ll remember you’re watching a Hall of Famer (and will be doing so for a few more years in Detroit).

32) The Tigers’ rotation will have a two-week stretch that will make you wonder if maybe it’s them who will be ruling this division in 2024, and not the White Sox.
33) The Astros are going to get booed all year, and they’re going to get booed a lot. There is much pent-up, unreleased frustration out there.
34) Jose Altuve will take the brunt of it, but it won’t stop him from erasing his 2020 setbacks and becoming an All-Star again.
35) Carlos Correa will have a very well-timed surge in production.
36) The Rangers' new ballpark is going to produce fun baseball ... and, as my colleague Mike Petriello noted, some incredible outfield catches.
37) The hottest deadline commodity won’t be Trevor Story: It’ll be Joey Gallo.

38) The Mariners will be better than they were last year, and it will be a reminder that until the offseason unpleasantness, this was the next great franchise in the AL West.
39) At some point, Félix Hernández will announce his retirement, and King Félix will get the sendoff in Seattle that he deserves.
40) By August, no one will remember where Jarred Kelenic started the season.
41) The A’s will spend most of the season in first place.
42) You still will not be entirely sure how, or why.
43) Shohei Ohtani is gonna pull this off. He has to, for himself, and for anyone else who wants to try it again.

44) Mike Trout will have the monster, everything-clicks-at-once season that blows us all away.
45) The Angels still won’t make the playoffs, and he still won’t have a playoff win.
46) Albert Pujols plays his last game … but it’s in a Cardinals uniform, not an Angels one.
47) Freddie Freeman has just as terrific a season in 2021 as he had in 2020, but he won’t be the Braves’ best player.
48) Ronald Acuña Jr. has the Bryce Harper 2015 season. Look out.
49) Francisco Lindor signs that extension with the Mets.

50) His jersey becomes the highest-selling one in baseball and one of the best-selling in all of sports.
51) No matter how well it all goes, every Mets fan will still be waiting for the other shoe to drop.
52) Bryce Harper is terrific again, the best player on his team, worth every dime he’s being paid … and it’ll still feel vaguely like a disappointment?

53) The Phillies will miss the playoffs for the 10th consecutive season.
54) Someone will still find a way to blame Gabe Kapler, Scott Rolen, Maikel Franco or Mike Schmidt for it.
55) The Marlins will be worse, but they will be better, if you get what I mean.
56) Sixto Sánchez will be back up in the Majors so soon that no one will remember he was ever optioned in the first place.
57) You’ll sort of miss Miami’s home run sculpture?
58) Stephen Strasburg returns, but he just isn’t the pitcher he was before. And he’ll still be around for quite a while.
59) Juan Soto will indeed be Ted Williams, but it won’t help the Nationals get out from under .500.
60) Ke’Bryan Hayes will be the best thing to watch about the Pirates this year.

61) The next best thing will be tougher to identify.
62) The ballpark. The ballpark is always incredible.
63) The Cubs will be close enough to the playoffs in July that they won’t trade away any of their pending free agents, giving off the one-last-ride vibe that you thought they had last year.
64) They’ll still fall short, which will stink, but at least everyone will get a big ovation in what could be their last games at Wrigley Field.
65) David Ross will start to look longingly at every broadcast booth he sees.
66) Nolan Arenado will eventually make Busch Stadium look like it was built specifically for him.
67) Adam Wainwright and Yadier Molina will have so much fun that they’ll both decide to run it back in 2022.
68) Jack Flaherty becomes a Cy Young contender again and establishes himself as a leading voice in the baseball world moving forward.
69) Joey Votto will have a huge bounce-back year and start building up his Hall of Fame case.
70) The rest of the Reds’ offense won’t follow him.
71) So all will be back to normal in the Queen City.
72) Christian Yelich will be Christian Yelich again.
73) Kolten Wong will make the All-Star Game.

74) The thing that’ll get the Brewers? Ironically, it’ll be their bullpen.
75) The Giants will overperform and surprise everyone with their competitiveness and competence.
76) It won’t matter, they’ll still finish in third by about 15 games.
77) Madison Bumgarner will look better, a lot better.
78) He still will probably enjoy himself at the plate just as much as he will on the mound.
79) The Rockies will … have a tough season.
80) Trevor Story is getting shipped out at the Deadline. It’ll be really sad, though not for him.
81) Tommy Pham will bounce back for the Padres and become the team’s third-best hitter.

82) The problem is that Wil Myers, Trent Grisham and Eric Hosmer will regress dramatically.
83) It still won’t matter, because the Padres are just getting started. They won’t challenge the Dodgers. But they’re hosting a Wild Card Game.
84) And Yu Darvish, not Blake Snell, will start it.
85) A player is going to finish seventh on the Dodgers in WAR and still get MVP votes.
86) Trevor Bauer will be the team’s fifth-best starter (He’ll still be good).
87) Mookie Betts will fall just short of becoming the second player ever to win MVPs in both leagues. He’ll finish second to Ronald Acuña Jr.
88) The Dodgers will miss matching the Mariners’ 2001 win record by one game.
89) They’ll still cruise through the playoffs.
90) Oh, yes, the division winners. In the AL: Yankees, White Sox, A’s, with the Wild Cards going to Toronto and Minnesota.
91) In the NL: Braves, Cardinals, Dodgers. Wild Card of Mets at Padres.
92) Your AL MVP is Mike Trout. Cy Young goes to Gerrit Cole.
93) NL is Acuña. Cy Young is Jacob deGrom, barely beating out Darvish.
94) The World Series is a dream for frequent fliers: Dodgers vs. Yankees. Enjoy the cross-country flights, all!
95) Television networks will be elated. And the Dodgers will win in 6.
96) The stands are going to be packed by then.
97) It’s almost going to feel normal.
98) You’re going to have a chance to be at a baseball game at some point this year, and in that moment the troubles and worries of the last year are going to feel far, far away.
99) We’re going to make it through this. Baseball is back. You will have done it.
100) It will be glorious.