Let's play two: Being a wife and mom of MLB players

“Control is such an illusion.”

That was the thought that crossed Leslee Holliday’s mind as she watched her son, Jackson, struggle in his first taste of the Major Leagues last month.

One of the most hyped prospects in recent memory, whose debut with the Orioles was highly anticipated, Jackson went hitless in his first 12 at-bats, ultimately going 2-for-34 before being optioned to Triple-A Norfolk.

“It’s very difficult,” Leslee said of the feeling of being unable to stand beside Jackson and deliver words only a mother could. “It rips your heart out as a mom.”

Leslee describes herself as a “professional encourager,” so when Jackson, or one of her other children -- sons Ethan and Reed, and daughter Gracyn Ivy -- are in a difficult situation, it’s that much more intense for Leslee.

But something she comes back to, something that is a constant, is what she and her husband, former MLB All-Star slugger Matt Holliday, have instilled in their children: confidence.

So when Jackson was at the plate amid his prolonged slump to begin his MLB career, Leslee pushed past her deep longing to help him in that very moment, knowing that what he needed now was something he had already received from his parents.

For Leslee, though the circumstances weren't comfortable, it was a comfort to know that her son knew -- he knew she and Matt were there, and he knew how to handle the adversity.

"Jackson is very steady, and I love that about him," Leslee said. "I talked to him a couple of days ago, and I was like, 'How are you?' And he was like, 'You know, Mom, the first couple days, I was a little rattled. But now I'm fine. Just day to day, this is what got me here, one day at a time. And that's what I'm gonna do.'"

Some 1,800 miles away from Fenway Park, where Jackson made his Major League debut on April 10, Cavan Biggio went 1-for-3 with a single for the Blue Jays against the Mariners in Toronto.

Back home in Houston, his mother reflected on his childhood.

“When he was 3, he was putting the ball on the tee over and over again, hitting the ball in the garage while the other kids were riding their bikes or writing in chalk and doing crazy things,” she said. “He would just be non-stop, hitting off that tee with all the chaos going on around him.”

Cavan wanted to be like his dad, Hall of Fame second baseman Craig Biggio, who produced 3,060 hits and was a seven-time All-Star over a 20-year MLB career with the Astros.

Cavan has achieved that goal, reaching the Major Leagues in 2019. It took a lot of practice and dedication, as you might imagine. It also took a mom who was raising three kids while her husband became one of the greatest second basemen in baseball history.

It wasn’t easy. But Patty wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“I loved every minute of it,” she said. “I never felt like I was overwhelmed …”

At this point, she immediately corrected herself.

“No, that’s not true. I felt many times that I was overwhelmed. But I was never upset about it. I miss it.”

She even misses the chaotic moments when kids are being kids. Like when Cavan would take his bat and his ball into the family room.

“You could see the family room from our kitchen window,” Patty said. “And Cavan would be in there for hours with a whole baseball game going on in his head. He would throw the ball up in the air -- those little soft balls with the matching bats, remember those? -- he’d throw the ball up in the air and he’d hit it over and over and over again.

“He would break things in the room and it would damage the walls. Literally once a year I had to have the walls repainted because of skid marks from the baseball.”

Normally, this might drive a mother somewhat … crazy. Not this one. This one saw through the material damage and into her son’s heart.

“Oh, I loved it, are you kidding?” Patty said. “Just to watch the whole thing. But if he saw you looking at him, he would get upset. Nobody could watch him, nobody could be in the room. He was just playing his game, he was in his own little world.”

Patty Biggio’s world is unique. As is Leslee Holliday’s and the worlds of other women who have lived the rare, challenging and rewarding life of being both a wife and a mother of a Major League Baseball player.

Fanning the flame

Leslee Holliday knew early on that Jackson and his younger brother, Ethan -- widely considered the best high school baseball player in the country and a potential No. 1 pick in the 2025 MLB Draft -- were going to make baseball their vocation.

As soon as that was evident, she looked to her mother for inspiration.

Leslee grew up on a ranch in Oklahoma. She loved being around her parents, and when it came to ranching, she relished the time she spent with her father. When she became a mom, that experience informed her desire to make sure her children had the same opportunity.

Although Matt was often away as he played for the Rockies, A’s, Cardinals and Yankees over a 15-year career, his kids were around him as much as possible. Leslee saw to that.

For Jackson and Ethan, that cultivated a great love for baseball, and Leslee seized the opportunity to wholeheartedly support that love so they could pursue their dream of following their dad’s path.

“Matt is such a good dad, and the boys want to be just like him,” Leslee said. “Even at a young age, we would watch the games and they would mimic him, and they would sit there and watch it like a movie.

“I have amazing parents and I always loved that my mom let me be around my dad as much as possible. My dad was a rancher, and she said yes when it was 4 in the morning and I wanted to go gather cattle. She’d let me go with my dad because she knew how important it was for a little girl to be around her father.”

As important as it is for the father-child bond to have the opportunity to flourish, so it is with the mother-child relationship. While the boys excitedly followed Matt around the ballpark as youngsters, Leslee nurtured them and encouraged their passion for the game.

Matt’s tutelage will no doubt be the first influence outsiders cite when watching his sons excel in baseball at the highest level. But Leslee’s contribution was no less critical.

“From a young age, it was pretty evident that Jackson and Ethan had a passion for baseball,” Leslee said. “And it was an innocent passion for the game. They just loved to compete and loved to win. And they were also really talented. God gave me these kids to steward and love, and I just wanted to fan that flame in them."

The same goes for her daughter, Gracyn Ivy.

"She's an unbelievable writer and she's really observant. I want to fan that, too," Leslee said. "This is a passion of hers, and it's like, how can I set her up for success? So even with her being an eighth-grader, I'm like, 'OK, let's talk about college -- this is clearly what you're passionate about and you're really gifted in this area.'"

Embracing the hurricane

As Patty Biggio puts it, her kids “were born and raised in a ballpark.”

When Cavan was a toddler, he would sit on his mother’s lap and watch his father, the man he would want to be like when he grew up, ply his craft at the Astrodome.

Cavan was different from your average 3-year-old at a ballgame.

“I used to call him ‘the thinker,’” Patty said. “You could just see him processing it. He would watch the game intently while my other son would try to get on the jumbotron and run around the aisles, and he would want to eat all the time. And Cavan would sit still and would not move.”

Like Leslee Holliday, Patty saw the writing -- or the skid marks -- on the wall. Cavan was going to follow in Craig’s footsteps.

The only way that was going to work was with a strong and supportive mother, particularly with the demands on his father of being a big league ballplayer -- for two decades, Craig was at the ballpark or on road trips or at Spring Training, activities that spanned more than half the year.

Patty took it all in stride. Not that it wasn’t demanding.

“I was a full-time mom, and it was a lot,” she said. “I didn’t have time to worry about what was happening on the field with Craig. And I think that helped with Craig, too -- he didn’t have to worry about what was going on at home, and I wasn’t too into his games.

“And I think that’s the way it is with Cav. We’re very close. We have a very strong relationship. If he’s struggling, I think I’m very calm in those situations. I think I’m very reassuring. I’m not judgmental, I’m not getting in his game, I’m not bothering him. I’m there if he wants to talk about it.”

Patty was there, and even though Craig couldn’t be there much of the time, she gave her three kids everything she had … and then some.

“It’s hard,” she said. “I felt sad for the kids sometimes when their dad would have to miss things, a lot of fun things -- graduations, school activities, tons of games.”

There were some days and nights that it was difficult being the only adult in the household. Some, in fact, were just downright scary.

“Yeah, you know, crazy thunderstorms in the middle of the night, hurricanes, things like that,” she said. “Texas has some crazy thunderstorms, and the hurricane -- I think Craig was in Spring Training then. With those kinds of things, you don’t want to be alone at home with the kids in the middle of the night.”

Patty Biggio didn’t exactly embrace that Texas hurricane. But she did embrace the beautiful hurricane of raising three kids as the wife of a superstar ballplayer. She’s seeing the fruits of that endeavor today in Cavan and her other children.

'That's just being a mom'

Mothers have an enormous responsibility and an indelible impact on their children. Some moms, though, have unique challenges when it comes to carrying out their labor of love. Being the wife of an MLB player and also the mother of one isn't easy. But it's been incredibly rewarding for Leslee Holliday and Patty Biggio.

"Especially as a wife sitting in the stands and then watching your boys, it does change a little bit over time," Leslee said. "It's definitely fun to watch them play and compete. But it's also really hard to watch them not play as well as they want or for expectations to not be met. That's so difficult on a mom. And I don't think it's just a baseball mom -- I think that's just being a mom."

"It doesn't happen all at once," Patty said. "It's not like all of a sudden, you've got three kids and then all of a sudden you're by yourself. They're babies, they get older -- it's all a process."

Then Patty laughed.

"Craig just happened to play so long."