Walt Weiss and Rockies media want to know: What kind of athlete would George Washington be?

The men of Major League Baseball may dedicate their life to the diamond, but baseball is far from the only thing on their mind. They are people of intellectual curiosity, committed to pondering life's greatest questions: Is a hot dog a sandwich? What truly constitutes "batting around"? Where, oh where, is Hank the Ballpark Pup? And, of course, that query which has occupied mankind since its inception: If George Washington were an athlete, what athlete would he be?
During his press conference last week, Rockies manager Walt Weiss and members of the assembled media set to tackle that latter question. Their answer, courtesy of MLB.com's own Rockies reporter/presidential scholar Thomas Harding? He would be a fullback, of course. Well, back when people used fullbacks. In the modern game, though? 
"He would be a matchup nightmare, like [Patriots tight end] Rob Gronkowski."
Click on the video at the top of the post to hear the entire debate, which covered everything from Gerald Ford to George's marriage to Martha. Weiss, for his part, has just one question: "Does he go wig or no wig under the helmet?"