Prepare for this weekend's Cubs-Red Sox series at Fenway with this tale of the tape

On October 12, 2011, Red Sox GM and certified Breaker of Curses Theo Epstein shocked the baseball world by announcing that he was leaving Boston to serve as president of the Cubs. Since then, the two franchises have had an awful lot in common -- from World Series crowns to pop culturesensations and even an All-Star or two.
So, with the teams set to face off for the first time in three years this weekend at Fenway Park, it's time to take stock of their last few years in the only appropriate fashion:
A tale of the tape.

Postseason success
Between a September swoon that kept them out of the postseason and losing Epstein to Chicago, 2011 wasn't a great year for Red Sox Nation. It wouldn't take long for the team to turn things around, though: After a last-place finish in 2012, Boston won 97 games and the AL East crown in 2013 behind new manager John Farrell and several shrewd moves by Epstein's replacement, Ben Cherington. 
Alas, it looked like the magical ride would stall out in the ALCS. Boston had already dropped Game 1 at home and was trailing, 5-1, heading into the bottom of the eighth in Game 2. And then David Ortiz showed up:

Papi's grand slam off Joaquin Benoit tied the game, sent poor Torii Hunter flipping over the right-field fence and introduced the phrase "bullpen cop" into the baseball lexicon. From there, Boston wouldn't look back: The Red Sox won the series in six and topped the Cardinals to become just the second team to ever go worst-to-first.

Of course, while his old team was celebrating, Epstein had begun building a championship team of his own -- it would just take a little longer. The Cubs won only 71 games the year before his arrival, but soon enough, the pieces started coming into place. Epstein swung trades for Anthony Rizzo -- the promising first-base prospect he'd drafted with the Red Sox back in 2007 -- and later Addison Russell. He took Kris Bryant with the second overall pick in the 2013 Draft and selected Kyle Schwarber fourth overall a year later.
And then, finally, it was time to turn that promising young core into a contender. Former Red Sox ace Jon Lester signed as a free agent after the 2014 season, and he was followed the next year by Jason Heyward, Ben Zobrist and old teammate John Lackey. You probably remember how that team fared:

Awards, awards everywhere
As you might expect from two of the best teams in baseball, both the Red Sox and Cubs have brought home plenty of hardware. Just last year, Rick Porcello won the AL Cy Young Award while Kris Bryant took home NL MVP honors -- from a batting cage, because ball is life.

As if that wasn't impressive enough, there's also the seven combined Gold Gloves (four for Boston, three for Chicago) and Silver Sluggers (five and two, respectively) the teams have won since 2012. Oh, and the Cubs have a Cy Young winner of their own, thanks to Jake Arrietaback in 2015.
Postgame ritual
Of course, all that success doesn't mean much if you can't celebrate it accordingly, which begs the question: Which team's postgame ritual reigns supreme?
In one corner, we have the Cubs' "Fly the W," a nod to a nearly century-old tradition: Back when Wrigley's manual scoreboard was first installed, it was common for the operator to hold up a "W" flag for a Cubbies win or an "L" for a loss. The flag made the leap from historical curio to full-blown sensation during Chicago's World Series run last year, with Kyle Schwarber even starring in what is possibly the greatest hype video ever made. And, once the World Series was won, it even made an appearance in Antarctica:

In the other corner, just three simple words: Win, dance, repeat. After each Boston win, the Red Sox preposterously talented (and, it must be said, preposterously handsome) outfield -- typically Andrew Benintendi, Jackie Bradley Jr. and Mookie Betts -- convene in shallow center field and proceed to bust a move. Sometimes they've gone skiing:

Sometimes they've Hit Dem Folks:

Sometimes they go full Michael Jackson:

But whatever they do, they make it look good.
Going beyond the call of duty (and the field of play)
For most of us mere mortals, the only balls we can catch are the balls that are actually on the field. For Anthony Rizzo and Mookie Betts, however, the confines of the diamond are more suggestions than actual rules. 
Back in 2015, Rizzo left an entire section in awe when he tip-toed along the tarp down the first-base line and reeled in a foul ball before tumbling into the seats:

A year later, he did it again -- this time with 100 percent more memes. 
Not to be outdone, Betts refused to let the low right-field wall at Fenway Park keep him from robbing a home run to cap a win over the Orioles back in 2015:

Farewell tours
Last season served as the swan song of two very different yet equally remarkable Major League heroes: David Ross and David Ortiz.
Fittingly, they were both able to go out on a high note. Ross -- with some assistance from his teammates and social media team -- homered in Game 7 of the World Series, became a Chicago folk hero and is now dancing his way into the hearts of America.

All Ortiz did, meanwhile, was put together one of the greatest final seasons in baseball history: a .315/.401/.610 slash line with 38 dingers, all at age 40. He now focuses mainly on his budding acting career, but don't worry, he's still got that home run swing.
Famous fans
Below is but a brief sampling of all the celebrities who have popped up in Boston and Chicago recently:
- Bill Murray was there for every twist and turn of the Cubs' World Series run, up to and including World Series MVP Ben Zobrist's new ride:

• Bill Russell, Bobby Orr and seemingly every other Boston sports luminary showed up for David Ortiz's final game at Fenway.
  - Cubs diehard Vince Vaughn sang "Take Me Out to the Ballgame."
  - Here's Rob Gronkowski throwing out a first pitch to David Ortiz:

Stephen Colbert tossed out the first pitch at Wrigley last summer -- er, should we say, noted hot dog vendor Donnie Franks:

Here's newly-crowned Super Bowl champion Tom Brady throwing out the first pitch ...

... and promptly having his jersey pilfered by Gronk:

No sign of slowing down
Both teams have picked up right where they left off. Entering play on Friday, the Cubs sit on top of the NL Central at 12-9 thanks to the usual from Bryant and Rizzo and a resurgence from Jason Heyward: After a slow first year on the North Side, Heyward has slashed .284/.346/.432 so far in 2017. With Lester, Arrieta and 2016 NL Cy Young Award finalist Kyle Hendricks anchoring the rotation and a full year from woolly mammoth disguised as human Kyle Schwarber (knock on wood!), Wrigley will be flying a whole lot of Ws this season.
The Red Sox, meanwhile, made the splash of the winter when they shipped top prospects Yoán Moncada and Michael Kopech to the White Sox for Chris Sale. So far, the returns have been, well, about what you'd expect from Chris Sale: Four starts, 29 2/3 innings, 15 hits allowed, 42 strikeouts, a 0.91 ERA and the same cartoon slider he's always had.

We could go on, but we'd be here for a while. Thankfully, the actual teams will have a chance to settle the score on the diamond this weekend.